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The May rain fell as thunder rolled overhead. The sun refused to shine on this sad day. The funeral possession slowly made its way down the dirt road toward the church cemetery. Even though the rain was steady and cold, many people had made their way to the small church to pay their respects to Sara Stallings. Many of these same people had only just recently buried members of their own families.
Jessica reached up to wipe a tear that was slowly making its way down her pale cheeks. She stared at the three shallow graves that held other members of her family. Just four days before she had buried both her father, Thomas and her baby brother Joshua. It did not seem possible that now she soon be standing by yet another empty grave. A grave that would soon claim her mothers body as well.
The cold rain continued as it had all morning, falling on Jessica’s face as it mixed itself with her tears, chilling her to the bone. The pain of her losses was finally taking its toll. Until now she had not had time to feel anything. Now the memory of the last several days came rushing back to her.
Her father had taken ill first. I was not until several hours later that her baby brother was also feverish. Jessica had watched her mother labor both day and night for several days in an attempt to save them. She tried to help her mother in any way possible, offering her mother time to rest while she would continue her mothers’ efforts and watch prayerfully over her father and brother. As her mother tried to rest, Jessica prayed that God would spare this small family.
So many other families around them had loved ones that seemed to be dying daily. The only doctor had been killed during the War and there had been no replacement for him. After six long days, her father died while her mother held him in her arms, weeping helplessly over his body.
While trying to hold back their worst fears both Sara and Jessica kept watch over baby Joshua, keeping cold compresses on his fevered head and clearing out his throat when it became impossible for him to breath. This terrible illness would cause their throats to become clogged with a thick white coating, causing them to choke. That is why everyone in town was calling this disease the “white death”.
The hours stretched only slowly, but their efforts had proven fruitless when only a few hours later her little brother had followed her father in death.
The townsfolk had immediately buried both her father and baby brother on the very same day. Everyone was terrified that this mysterious disease would spread even quicker if the bodies were not immediately buried. Fear was gripping the entire town.
Now just two days later here Jessica stood. She was standing silently beside her mothers’ bedside. To her horror, during the funeral of her father and little brother that Jessica’s mother had collapsed. Jessica had not heard herself scream as she dropped beside her mothers fevered body in the fresh dirt on the ground. Sara was burning up with fever.
.
Jessica worked as hard as she knew how in an effort to comfort her mother. The fever grew worse with each passing moment. She prayed as she had never prayed before as she tried save her mother. She had dipped the wet rags in the cool water. Hours passed as she washed her mothers’ body in the cool rags in a desperate effort to bring the fever under control.
As she wiped her Sara’s brow, she prayed endlessly. Why had God taken her father and brother? What would she do if her mother died also?
Jessica shook her head in an effort to clear her thoughts. She must not think on such things. Her mother would be fine, she had to! With all her might Jessica continued to pray and stubbornly refused to give up hope. She dipped the now warm rags back into the cool water on the stand by her mother’s bed.
Sara Stallings opened her eyes and began to struggle for the strength to speak. Jessica was startled by her mothers’ sudden movement. Sara moved her lips as words escaped in a whisper. Jessica shook her head; she could not make out the frantic words of her mother. Slowly she leaned close to her mothers flushed face.
"What is it Momma...I'm right here," Jessica said as she kissed her mothers cheek.
"You must....go.....go to Carolyn,” her mother whispered. Each word seemed to drain more life from her weary body.
"Don't talk like that Momma, you're gonna be fine..... I know you will!" Jessica replied with more assurance than she felt.
Her mother had slowly shaken her head. "No Jess....I'm going home. I am...so tired....so very tired.” Her mother paused to gain the strength to finish. "You must ...go..........to Aunt Carolyn." She struggled with each word. She began to pat the mattress beside her head. “I have saved....money. Here in the mattress. It will help .....you get a new start."
"Momma, I’m not gonna need that money. You will be fine, just you wait and see.”
"My darling Jess....You must promise....to go. Promise me!" she added with the last of her strength.
Jessica ignored the tears that fell down her tired face. "I promise Momma, I will go to Aunt Carolyn if that will make you happy."
A smile came across Sara’s face as she reached up to push a small strand of Jessica's' dark hair out of her teary eyes. “I love you Jess..."
"Momma I love you too.” Unaware that her hot tears were falling on her mothers face. Jessica sat helplessly as she watched the life flow from her mothers blue eyes.
Frantically Jessica shook her mothers’ shoulders. "No!!! ...No Momma....please don't leave me...I need you!" She felt the life leave her mothers body as harsh sobs tore from her body. Gently she laid her head on her mothers’ now still and silent chest.
It was during those few moments immediately after her mothers’ death that the promise from scripture came to her mind. She remembered her mother telling her that God would never leave her or forsake her. With that memory fresh in her mind, somewhere deep inside an inner strength ebbed up and she raised her face and kissed her mothers’ now cool brow.
Tears flowed freely down Jessica’s’ face. “I love you too Momma....I always will." Jessica knew that somehow her mother had heard her.
Jessica's life had been forever changed on that day. Now, less than twenty four hours later, Jessica was walking aimlessly toward a new grave. The cold ground that would soon hold the body of her mother.
Rain fell in a fine mist as Jessica pulled her knit black shawl tighter around her shoulders. The tiny funeral possession came to a stop at the empty grave that had been dug for her mother just a few hours earlier. There beside her mothers new grave was the still fresh grave of her father and brother. Why had she been spared? Why had her family died when she was left alone and healthy? Her mother had taught her not to question God, but Jessica could not help the thoughts that plagued her every waking moment.
Jessica could not bring herself to look at the empty grave that would hold her mothers lifeless body. Instead she kept her eyes toward heaven, still believing that, even now, God was still in control of even this horrible situation.
The precious memories of her mothers’ voice seem to echo in her mind. She could still hear her mother reading from the bible every evening as they gathered by the fire or out on the back porch. She had always taught them that God was always in control .She would read scripture from the worn pages of her bible, her voice so soothing, as she taught her children that no matter what life handed you, no matter how hard things were, God could always be depended on to bring you though it. She had told them that no matter what circumstances they might find themselves in, they could be assured that God would work things out according to his divine will. They only had to allow God to work and get their own wills out of the way. It was memories such as this that had given Jessica the strength that she had needed over the past few days.
Jessica reached into the pocket of her best church dress and pulled out her mothers’ old bible. Tears streamed down her face as she handed it to Reverend Thompson. It was only fitting that what ever scripture the reverend choose to read, be read from her mothers’ bible. Hadn't her mother said that death was just a pathway to God?
At that particular moment Jessica could find no comfort in the fact that her mother was far better off. She could not help feeling so very alone and afraid. If only she could feel her mothers loving arms around her, to feel her gently push her hair back from her eyes, as she had so often done. She wanted to look once more in her mothers crystal blue eyes, so full of love. She wanted to hear her daddies booming voice as he laughed at something her or her little brother had done. But that would never happen again, her mother was gone, her father and brother were gone and she would have to find the strength from somewhere deep inside herself to go on. She knew she would have to depend on God for such strength.
The words that the reverend spoke, hoping to provide some slight comfort, fell on deaf ears as Jessica allowed herself to remember the happy times with her family. There had been so many. How would she go on? The Reverend gently laid his had on Jessica’s shoulder, startling her back to the present. He smiled at her and reached out to take her shaking hands into his own. Gently, he slipped her mothers worn bible back into her grasp. No words were spoken. There was nothing left to be said. Jessica turned and took the first steps of her life alone.
